Tips & Resources

Defining Positive Discipline:

My definition of positive discipline is the ability to set limits—which all kids need but few welcome—without putting them down. As those of you who are familiar with my books or articles know, this approach is neither authoritarian – "you do it because I said so" "you do what I say, or else!" – nor permissive, "now, sweetie, it’s not nice to hit people; they don’t like it, OKaay?" To be authoritative, that is, to set limits in areas that are important (your needs, values, safety etc.) make sure that you define what the rules are and that your kids know them, too. Some parents in my workshops make a list of NON-NEGOTIABLE rules and put them in writing in a prominent place. (I like the refrigerator door—you know, that door that when kids open it, they get mesmerized!).

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